Rebecca O’Sullivan, mom of 2 and based in Wicklow, very kindly shared her Motherhood : Unedited story with us….
When Gemma asked me to write on the topic of motherhood and an aspect I’d love to talk to other mum’s about, so many things came to mind but one thing did stand out. We constantly hear that we’ve lost our village in motherhood. Unfortunately it’s a very real truth that we live further from our families or even if they do live near they may not be as involved as we had hoped. I hear this so much from women around me all the time.
I’ve been involved with minding kids for 14 years now as a nanny and now with my own two kids aged 5 and 2.
The second family I nannied for had a 1 year old baby ( my husband jokes she was my trainer baby) and I was told to go to the local parent and toddler group. I remember being so nervous, it felt like the first day of school. Would they be nice, would the baby be okay, would I be accepted. The list went on.
I always remember walking through the door and being guided to the tea and coffee and immediately feeling acknowledged and welcomed.
Those women are still my friends to this day (they added me to the Parent & Toddler WhatsApp group even though I wasn’t a mum) and then supported me so much through my pregnancy and journey into motherhood whether it was advice (never unsolicited), clothes, special bottles as our baby had reflux, texts, dinners and so much more. I’ve found that motherhood is the great leveller, some of us laugh and say do we think would we have been friends before kids and maybe not but when you are sleep deprived, dealing with poo and feeding issues everyone is in it together. I’m there for them and they are there for me.
That original Parent and Toddler group meets for dinner twice a year and coffees in between and now some of our kids are in school together. Some kids are 10 now while the youngest is 2 but we all have this one bond of motherhood to keep us together. I really can’t explain the difference they made to my life. I truly found my village. Family is wonderful but nothing like people who understand what you are going through in that exact moment.
Since that first group I have attended four more parent and toddler groups with my own kids and have found comfort and people to discuss the ins and outs of motherhood. Some groups I’ve made loads of connections, some one or two but what I can say is go out there try them, try as many as you can because you don’t know the gems that may come into your life. If one doesn’t work try another.
Even though our kids are growing up now we have managed to forge these connections that are so deep and mean we come as we are because lets face it motherhood truly changes you. It means you can be your true self.
To all those women you know who you are, thank you and I will always be grateful to you all.
So be brave, go out there and find your village.
*Thanks so much to Rebecca for sharing with us. There’s always such power in hearing another mom’s voice – on all kinds of aspects of motherhood.
