Hey I’m Aoife
I’m here today
To make a change
To advocate
For Mental health
Mental Health? What’s that?
Who does it effect?
You, me everybody, one and all
It’s our thoughts and feelings
Which rise and fall
Without the skills to listen…, to express…. to feel
The cogs spin faster, we fall off the wheel…of life
A quick intro to me, myself and I,
A daughter, a friend, a wife ,
a mother, an educator
Let’s rewind back
My mother and I, a family made of two
In Ireland’s 1980s when that was taboo
She fought she struggled she carried us along
An incredible woman, who was strong.
While she gave me all she could
Mental Health was a term unheard
Sure that’s no surprise, a product of her past she brings
Don’t speak little child, suppress those feelings
And so the cycle
Continued on to me
From the heart she did good but mentally
My generation and I were fed ‘You’re grand’
The invalidating environment –
They DON’T understand
Listen, please listen I need to talk
I need you to hear
The thoughts and anxieties swirling around here
Don’t worry, you’ll be grand – but that’s no help
And so the suppression strangles my breath.
Growing up different
Different? How?
Sure look at the size of me now
Six foot two
Jaysis the height of you
How are you so tall?
Eh I grew!
Standing out when you want to fit in
Not fitting in,
It’s crippling
40 years old now but I’ve broken down
How you say? Anxiety – tick,
Social anxiety tick tick tick
Fear of being judged, fear of failure,
Fear, fear, so much fear
Lungs gasping, heart pounding, palms sweating,
OVER the small things – not coping –
NO resilience
Resilience – what’s that?
The ability to bounce back from adversity
I WAS NOT able, I was drowning…fast.
Falling out with friends, falling out with myself,
Effects on my family – negative effects
Enough’s enough – time for change
But how to reframe?
These thoughts
Ready to learn, ready to update
My mind, My app
Counselling, therapy a good start
But the waiting lists the costs come on!
Thank god for books, podcasts and Brene Brown.
For years I tried mindfulness but for years I failed
The head spun like 90,
Until I learned about CBT
A game changer ….FINALLY
THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS
Who knew!
But I thought I could believe my mind
Thoughts are NOT facts
Be the detective,
Search to find
The evidence
The facts will actually set you free.
Today I stand here fit – mentally
It’s a daily grind but I’ve taken the lead
Understanding my emotions, my amygdala,
The messages from the brain
To my body,
Feel it – Name it – Breathe
If only I’d known these simple things
That emotions are normal and important to feel
Expressing them brings us clarity,
Helps us to control
Our tempers, our outbursts
This information I was not taught in school
And so my goal is to make a change
For Generation Z for my children too
To learn how to enjoy this life and not to endure
Struggles and traumas will hit us with force
However when mentally fitter we’re on the right course
Mental health In Ireland
We have GOT to prioritize
This is HAS to come from grassroots
From the ground
To educate… and NOT resuscitate when it’s too late
And so to give the last few words
To a favourite singer
Damien Dempsey and his song ‘ Colony’
“You’ll never kill a will to be free
In our minds we hold the key
In our minds we hold the key.”
by Aoife Hughes (@bewelldowellx) (@familywalksir
